Thursday, October 22, 2009

Colorful Tears...

How did you weigh,what you meant to me,
I wished for a walk ,
In the drizzle of the evening,
Never alone but with you,
I Wished,You gripped my fingers tight ,
On the scariest roller coaster ride,
I wished together, To dream ,To star gaze,
You are my music ,you are my breath.

I wished ,I prayed, why wasn't I all along,
Holding your tender young hand,
Looking into ignorant wet eyes,
Wiping your tears with mine every time ,
Wished our touches healed our childhood aches,
I cry, I shout, "why god why?",
Why did he deny such pleasures with you?
How heavily did I sin?

Your laughs ,your smiles ringing hard ,
Still justifying all you did,
Wishing to understand ,it wasn't your fault,
May be its my cascaded wrongs,
I wish,I wake up in the morning,
We are the lonely souls left,
Atleast then you got to answer none.

May be its our crabby introvert-ism,
We couldn't break our shells ,
To swim in the undefined ocean,
I wish our shells were brittle,
And our armor of love,
Strong enough to pulverize it.

Still pondering how could,
My affection translate into hatred,
May be I was aggressively insensitive,
But none were engaged to impart a scratch,
Enmity & Ego kill themselves between us,
I saw you as shadow of my soul,
Wished you realized close.

A couple of tears,
Is that all you could grant ?
I wished little more greedy,
I wished you for eternity.

I wish I get another chance,
I learned it all now,
Don`t go sit near impossible,
Shy away ,Come sit next to me,
That`s all you will ever need.

I see you all the while,
In each being I meet,
Jigsawing you around the clock,
Every fickle of time we spent,
Gave me the all the highs of life,
I wish to hear you hum,
That`s all I would ever need.

Of all I wished,
Its just one , I wish deep,
I wish never to fade away,
From your thoughts of retention,
But still, Of everything you spoke,
Its one phrase that loops incessantly,
"Chances are never given,I got take my own",
I wish I want to,I don`t know I could.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Incognito World....

Right from a very young age there is one thing I kept hearing all the time "Have Appreciation for the things around you",for the air you breath,food you eat and for all the gifts you have blessed with.By the time I was 15 this quotes virtually numbed my ears. May be its just that I grew up too skeptical.
But then it also happened to be the time I grew up as a full time skeptic.

There was this chapter in my 10th std biology textbook on animal mimics.Why does a zebra have black & white stripes, to create an illusion ,Why are lions colored yellowish,because they can camouflage themselves in dry grassland bushes.O Really!!"I never knew that"!!!!.

It was not until some three months after later. I was spending some empty time in my school library I took up this giant book book on wildlife encyclopedia to my table to read(Of course there were quite a lot of sarcastic smiles seeing me carrying such a huge book).

And I was going through this chapter on natural selection.
The two snaps which made me a full time skeptic in life...

The above one is called "dying" leaf-mimic katydid, whose natural selection had mimicked a dying leaf.Well that was cool , but I thought the next one was absolute brain burner.

Its called the bee orchid.Look a little closely at the stigmata of the above pic,its had mimicked a female bee .And the notes below the pic read as,"As the male bees try to mate with bogus female bee structure of the flower,the pollens sticks to the male bee's body and helps in pollination of the species":natural section of a bee orchid.

So there was this whole torrent of questions impounding my head,(so you can infer there weren't too may girls in the library to get distracted).How did it know the mechanism of reproduction of such a highly complex social creature like the bee?Well atleast the dying leaf katydid had a vision to show how a dying leaf looks like .The plant is immobile,its got no vision,its got no brains to process, yet could achieve such a selection .Being a hard core skeptic, It was just too difficult to accept it as nature or creation.

But it was my long time thought to write post on this topic,but then I wanted it to be reserved until I get some kinda of answers to my impregnated question marks.

A couple of weeks back I was reading this book called "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne ,passed to me by a friend.I started it a little casually,but well after a few pages,I couldn't take things as causally as I wanted, The books just consolidates into a one liner " Ask and you shall receive ", well sounded like a some biblical quote to me at first, but as I went scrolling through the pages of the book,the enlightenment wasn't far away.

So,summarizing this 300odd page book in single phrase,it says " Whatever you truly wish,ask and feel, the universe will get it to you from out of the blues"(Just don't ask when and how).( Well sounded like a dialogue from Sharukhs movie).This book did juice up my nucleus.

So the wish of the dying leaf kaydid was to survive.So the universe finds a solution,camouflaging its species like a dying leaf on the floor of the rain forest.

And the bee orchid wish to pollinate effectively,was translated in getting it a bee shaped structure in its stigmata.

So the needs of this species,which you call as their as their wish was granted to them in ways you can`t possibly imagine.Its just that we don't have a clue about how the universe gets it done.

Its like just imagine some three centuries back , you told someone ,that you could talk to someone distant on another shore without anyone in between hearing you conversation ,through some invisible medium.There could be only two things that could happened either you would have been called a psychic or a lunatic.
But we all do this every day in our lives today.A thing which sounded lunatic a three centuries back is reality today,with complete conceptual understanding of how we could make it happen.

We don't see the EMF waves of a cell phones,we don't feel radio waves,we don't visualize infra red, we don't hear ultra sound but then we all know it exists.

So the point is just because we don't see things and just because we don't feel things and just because some nerds haven't written it down in our science books just doesn't mean things don't exist.

Its just that we make use of so many abstract utilities, in ways we actually don't realize and the power of universe is one of them.So may be some day,sometime down the decades or down the centuries we would get some clue about how the universe makes it all happen,we could possibly make use of it effectively.

How many times you have used the Phrase " I know I will get it" ,you actually feel when you are getting your elusive wish inching closer to you.
How many times have you said," I always knew something is going to prevent it from happening " and some stupid thing did prevent you from getting it.

Well that was the core conceptualization of the book "The Secret","Your wish is the universe's command".

The times when you have got hurt and you are too conscious that you don't get hurt again in the same spot and that's exactly what happens,the universe laughs at you in sarcasm,you wished I granted it.

The power of perception is bit deeper than it actually seems,every individual perception and action actually affects every one else ,after all we are one connected entity.

Would you believe as you are reading this blog of mine,you are actually in complete contact with me all the time,well if you say a "NO".Well think again, at macroscopic level of general human perception you are right in a way, zoom down your microscope a little, you are made up atoms and electrons and the air around touching you is made up up of atoms and electrons and the same air touches me as well so atomically we are in contact with each other all the time.

If you yell at me I hear it because the waves cascade through the air to my ear buds,So eventually , our feelings ,emotions and our states of perception is actually conveyed to every other thing in the universe because we are in connected with each other atomically as a single entity.

Hitler as a soldier was battered and tired after world war I ,all he wanted was to marry this Jewish girl he was in love with for four years and never proposed to her,he wanted to marry her and settle as a teacher in some downtown place in Germany.But that dint happen,may be the girl had other plans.Hitler went back to the army and the rest is history.

So its just that how a happening or unhappening of an event actually effect every individual of this connected entity.

Humanity so proud of its achievements ,with all those hi tech gadgetry around we can certainly get our collars up.Just looking at it a little closer you would realize the most of things around us had been invented only a century ago.And a century just a impulse in the chronology of human existence of 10,000 yrs plus,so what were we doing all this days,napping around..??.Even a half a century back the main mode of transport would be a bull cart which we is been in use since the day of existence of humanity and all of a sudden with a matter of a few decades we driving at 300 miles per hour. Don't you think its a psychological evolution happening at break neck pace.So who did ??Or may be we Should ask what made us do it??
Its our won desire and our own wishes.Its how acquisition of one desired things leads to another desire and the domino effect is what we are today.

Every religion,every prayer and every form non spiritual, conscious or unconscious wish refers to just one implicit,abstract entity .
The secret called it as the "universe" ,I and you could call it "supreme being" others may call it " Destiny", but at the end ,the past and present teaches only one thing we all together create our future.

The multifarious ,fancy wishes are not just not restricted to katydid or bee orchid, We too are part of the same universe, so wish and wish deep and convey it to the universe,and when the universe can grant such convoluted desires to them ,it can very well grant our humble wishes as well.It had granted us before and it will keep granting us in the future,if only we could make our wish loud and clear.

In efforts to passing my wishes to the universe,

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Pursuit Of Happiness........

You have a unit to measure electricity, a way to measure the weight of a sugar bowl,you have a method to scale your own height, a blunt ridiculous question am going to put forward to you now,do you know any method to measure or quantify happiness? Can you give me number or a figure and tell me this is how much am happy or this is the number of units which scale the level of satisfaction in my life.

The most happiest people in the world are the most social ones, the ones who have lots of mutual attention, those who call themselves as social butterflies, this is what correlation statistics on human happiness tells us.

And of course their is whole bunch of statements from the so called philosophers of our humanity , Happiness is a sate of mind, says one.Happiness is the ultimate goal of every human act says the other,I can achieve the deepest intensity of happiness through meditation & penance says another.
I personally hate philosophers because they most often so tilted to idealism and so general in their perception of humanity, it just that their ideas never fit every one in this world of diversification.
so common people like you and me ,keep asking ourselves one question again and again, how happy we are in our life, is it a journey of life?? or is it an impulsive act or incident??, which happens to deliver us this adrenalin rush.Do we have enough of this units of happiness to feed our appetite for satisfaction and fulfillment.

There are three kinds of life each person lives in their life,we try make a cut though a few personalities who are biased exclusively toward one of this three kind of life,

The pleasant life : The royals, kings, pro-creations of the ultra rich come under the scanner here, this people where born with a silver spoon in their mouth.Their inherited blood is what gives them the ominous things in life.There is never a pleasure in the world they haven't experienced.Ignorance,arrogance, pride are part of the business. Never dare to call any of their act sadistic because everything is legal here.Love, romance,affairs,betrayal are all dice of the game.It might take several life time to spend all their assets unless they bet it all on a single game of poker.

So, a very simple question ,are this people the happiest and ultimately the most satisfied people in the world? you can hold your answer for sometime.

The focused life: Lint grew up as paper boy.He had a very tough life. He was smart ,intelligent and hardworking, qualities that made him a millionaire at the age of 25,he was running a stock trade business.He was also a world champion in the game of chess.But their is a dark side to it, he had a pathetic love life, the girls he approached called him boring.There were numerous break up in his life and he remained single most part of it.

So, again another simple question putting it in a different way, do you think Lint was not happy and satisfied person in his life? hold on with your answer,

The fulfillment life: A person who needs no introduction "Mother Teresa" .She left the comforting life of a Balkan state in Europe to work for the down trodden in the slums of Kolkata.She had no substantial assets ,faced numerous humiliations and dealing with pain was just another day at the office for her,she never had a love life ,I meant it in a romantic sense.There was none of her own blood. She was all alone in the middle of the hot subcontinent,with a bunch of missionaries.

So, the same simple question again in a different wording, so you think Mother Teresa was doing this ,just for the sake of doing service to humanity and her days in almost hell were without fulfillment? Am going to get you the answers shortly.

Before that,May be you should have look at the equation derived by the team of psychologist headed by Dr.Meleman,

Complete Happiness = The Pleasant Life + The Focused life + The Fulfillment Life
(Ultimately Total

But hold on, this equation isn't as simple as it sounds, its nonlinear,

The contribution of each of this parameter to the so called complete happiness is scaled and vary in their contribution

In this equation,

Pleasant life <<< Focused life < Fulfillment life

The above line just accentuates the fact that,

The contribution of pleasant life to complete satisfaction is quite negligible compared to the focused and the fulfillment life,

Now lets try getting back to the branches I was talking about earlier,

Mother Teresa, nor she had any assets in her name,and her mission of annihilating the pain of the suffering ,which always would be a infinite string which never ended, still she was more happier and satisfied person than most of us ,the torrents of happiness which she received in serving the down trodden helped her feed her appetite of her satisfaction completely and she never felt craving for anything else to make her more happy.

Lint had a pathetic love life, never popular among girls, but he was a workaholic,every time when he entered his stock market the respect he commanded from his fellow men, gave him the needed adrenalin rush.When he played the game of chess, he was the best, his concentration so focused when he starts his work ,it was almost like time used to freeze for him. This radiant shimmering were just enough to fill his cans of satisfaction overwhelmingly.

The inherited filthy rich had everything,could do everything but their carving for more never stops, they could not define how much is too much, because their happiness bowl was always leaking,no amount of it,could satisfy those people.

Guess this explains the logic behind the scaling of the equation.So the ultimate deprivation of essence of happiness from a pleasant life is felt only if a person wholly and fully lives his focused and fulfillment life.Otherwise no amount of pleasant life could satisfy our mammoth requirement of happiness.

May be some of this Ultra Rich do realize this inevitable equation in their lives, so the next time when you see Angelina Jolie giving a million dollar donation or Madonna adopting a black African kid, we should think twice before calling it as a celebrity gimmick, it does whole lot more good to them, it brings them the elixir of life " Happiness".

Craving for the "H" word just like you,

Friday, March 20, 2009


I have written a quite number of posts and I have received many comments for them,There is one person`s comments you will find in all my posts,well, Say "Hi !!" to Shruti Mukundan.
Shruti is a Msc student in Physics from St.Stephen`s ,New Delhi,and aspires to do a PHD in thin film technology (Dr.Shruti ahh!!),all this lines might make her sound nerdy ,but in fact is the other way around, complete chatter box ,who calls herself,Jack of all trades,master of none ,with a few trades left.(Its was a pleasure listening her sing!!).So people wanting to know more about her, try visiting her page @(,This is a long pending Tag from her and I finally found some time to do it,Guess I saved her a murder charge, so moving on..

Your favorite color?

It depends on the mood black to feel hot, lime green to feel relaxed, orange to blow away the blues, white to make peace ( In fact lime green and black where two previous themes of this page)

Favorite Cuisine?
Right now just kinda of sticking with North Indian. But yaa big time ambition to explore Chinese exhaustively.( I have tried using my pencils as chop sticks)

Do you like pets? Do you have any?

I don't own a pet, I used to feel uncomfortable with dogs, but yet to buy thoughts on others, may be gold fish or chameleon would be a good start.

I saw in your blog that you have traveled a lot.. where all have you been to?

Let me just roll over my hard disk a little...

Gwalior, Mathura, Jhansi, Agra, Jaipur, Ranchi, Delhi,chandigarh, some of them I could think of now..
As of south and east , my exploration is quite much in its infancy.

Your favorite actors (chuck Hollywood !)

Chuck Hollywood?? How can expect me to name my favorite actors list without Will Smith. okay, Kamal hassan ,Nagaesh,Amir Khan !!( for their versatility), whole lot more...

Favorite actresses?

I am goona sound a little racist here,because some of my favoritism is based more on the looks than the performances..

Hispanic- Salma Hayek ( Remember Desparado)
Blonde - Who else kate winslet of course
Black- Beyonce & Queen latifah
Asian- okay!! Asin..

Your best friend? And why he/she is the best frd??

This is a question which makes any one a little dizzy to answer,but friend with a reason, I would say ninja, I used to call him my savior in college.(I am sure he should be in all smiles if he is reading this,because only him and I know what exactly he saved me from, anyway I would still like to express my gratitude,"thanks macha")

Any embarrassing moment of your life, if you can share..

Well, the most immediate on the that comes to my mind is of course messing up my high speed network seminar and the reaction i got from my HOD and from my class,I still feel that's was the worst talk I ever gave in my life, a terrible flop.

Any special secret talents you got? Except quizzing?

I can make girls blush Guess it counts as a talent!!)

Happiest moment of your life till today?

Guess its yet to come, may be one I could recall for a self achievement would be listing of my blog page on, was indeed a quite pleasant surprise.

Any secret desire??

Try Getting drunk and party all

Oh between, why didn’t you continue studies with MTech or MBA??

Any one who knows me will give you an answer for this..

Damn recession played the spoil sport..

Whats the best thing you like about yourself and the worst too.

Tricky ,

May be its the way I relate with people.

Worst-Getting Impulsive

Sweets or namkeen??

Quite obviously namkeen. I am fussy with sweets.

When was the last time you were damn angry? n y?

Guess right today . Another obvious case of impulsiveness.

Were you ever jealous of anyone?

Yes ,I am , Its quite long list of people I am jealous of..

Whats your idea of a perfect Sunday?

An Utopian Sunday would mean ,waking up 8 00,have a ginger tea in hand, newspaper in front,siting in my couch watching cricket or movie on TV( preferably English and a comedy) .

What do you do when you are in a 'really not good' mood?

Wow!! You should have had some idea about it by now , I need an human emotional punch bag ,Well I know this not very appreciative methodology, I am in the process to finding an alternative.

Put up a real stupid act of yours?

Tough one...Something Recent would be

I skipped celebrating my blog page`s second anniversary ,If you had noticed carefully it was on feb 24 last month, Its was because of some unavoidable reasons, but I think I should have got a good bang on post that day, may be next time....

Whats on your wishlist?

Boxing day test match.
Bungee jumping.
Luxury cruise.
Directing a Documentary.

What is the biggest surprise you have got as yet?

There are a quite few, I think I forgot the intensity of the surprise by now.
When I come across the next one, I will update it here.

One song.. Just one song that you don't mind listening to the whole day long!!

So many of Rahman`s..

If you want me to name one ,Today I was listening to "Ennavale Adi Ennavale"-
Kadhalan, after a long time and I did play it a number of times.

If u could erase one act in your life with a god gifted eraser, what would that be?

Okay something I could think of more immediately was I used to damn adamant at school, I almost made one of my teachers to the beak down,I still feel sorry for the incident. I would really like it to be erased.

Since u r gonna put it up in your blog, your favorite post in your blog.

"Haunted by Human Hollowness" - By far the post which I wrote so very truly from deep within.

I have not been posting frequently this days, so its been two years I have started writing on this page and there has been whole of of reviews which made a lot of difference in my life, so just want to take this opportunity to thank all my friends,people who read my blogs and people who don't, thank you so much for you support for the success of this page, you people mean a lot to me.Hope to carry it on for more years to come.

With a thankful heart,